Hello there,
As an interior designer, I have been inside hundreds of homes. Over time, I have noticed a pattern- many women have no place of their own. While the entire home may be their domain and usually under their influence, there is no “for her only” spot in her daily routine. I am not talking about a work-from-home space, although that is very important. I am speaking of a space to do the opposite of work, to relax, have a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, read, dream, journal, meditate, cuddle with the dog and/or kitty, listen to an audiobook, and do the opposite of the day-to-day “running” of life. Perhaps there is a key in the word “running” that indicates a frenetic pace, movement, and action. This is not that spot; this spot is simply to be.
However, there are some women that I have worked with over the years, that have put very intentional effort into their spot. I would like to share some of those spaces with you, and the elements that made it special.
This space can be in a corner of the bedroom, in a guest room, in a library and even in the living room (like mine). There are some essential elements to this area:
1-a comfy place to sit
2-a place to write or put a kindle or book (I use a c-table pulled up to the sofa)
3-a view (so possibly near a window)
4-a journal and a favorite pen
5-a side table and a lamp
6-a cozy blanket and perhaps a pillow
Pretty easy elements, right? If you already have a spot, look at the list above and see if anything is missing that you might appreciate. So why is this space so important? It is so that you can take some time to slow down, relax, dream, read, cuddle, meditate, and quiet the thoughts in your head. I want this spot to feel comfy, personal, and safe.
I have created this little spot in my living room, on my sofa near the window. Sometimes I have a glorious hour in the morning. I often journal, read an inspirational book, and then do a 5-10-minute meditation. I enjoy Insight Timer for a guided meditation because I still struggle to turn off my thoughts. For the past couple of weeks, however, I have not made this time for myself, and I notice the greater anxiety and lack of balance in my day. It took me some time to figure out what was “off,” and it was simply that I was not making any time for myself.
One other thing that I have struggled with is thinking that I needed to meditate properly. I would think of the Dalai Llama or Thich Nhat Hanh who have dedicated their entire life to Buddhist principles, or even some friends and clients that I have spoken to that are able to meditate for 20 minutes or more. These comparisons are useless. They do not help me or the person that I am comparing myself to. Regarding meditation, I liked this quote from Jon Kabat-Zinn:
“Meditation is simply about being yourself and knowing who that is. It is about coming to realize that you are on a path whether you like it or not, namely the path that is your life.”
So I ask you-have you made a little spot for you only? And do you use it? If not, have I convinced you to carve some time for yourself? You deserve this time and space. It may mean that we need to go to bed at a good time and wake up earlier, it may mean not going out on a “school” night, or simply working too long (these are my typical culprits for not making “me” time.) I encourage you to think about this idea and if you have a spot, send me a quick picture: stephanie@balancedesignatlanta.com. Spend a little time feathering your nest, this is where the magic happens!
See you next week,
Stephanie