Past and Future Self

Hello Friend,

Can you believe that we are already midway through July? I certainly cannot!

I’m currently in Erie, PA, for our annual summer vacation and family reunion. This year was especially significant because it also marked our 40th high school reunion! I’m sure many of you can relate to this experience, even if your reunion wasn’t quite as long ago. For me, there was a mix of anticipation and anxiety, coupled with a firm resolve to simply go and connect with people.

It was like stepping into a time machine, with memories of first kisses, petty arguments, marching band (I was the bobcat mascot!), football games, proms, homecoming, class trips, ski club, breaking hearts, and having my heart broken—all those high school experiences came flooding back.

I wasn’t sure what we would even talk about, trying to condense 40 years into a brief conversation. I heard some tragic stories and saw incredible transformations from “ugly duckling” to “beautiful swan,” and vice versa. But mostly, it was just about life and how it has unfolded in so many different ways.

It was actually a truly memorable experience, and I was quite surprised with how good it felt to reconnect. After the reunion, I kept wondering about my younger self: what was she like? Why is it so hard to remember? One person at the reunion said that she came to my graduation party, and I couldn’t even remember having a big party! Another person said that they remember that I chewed tobacco in high school—I definitely did not!

We also had dinner with some folks before the reunion, and one of them reads tarot cards. I asked her to pull a card that could represent what I would say to my younger self or what my younger self would say to me now. Her interpretation of my card was to step back and observe, not to react too quickly, and to stand up against injustice and manipulation. (Seems relevant in high school and in my present life!)

Have you had some kind of surreal reunion experience? I wanted to ask because I found a design book that is somewhat related to this post, at least in asking deeper questions to consider to improve some aspects of life.   It is called “Spatial Alchemy, Design Your Home to Transform Your Life“. This book drew me in immediately. It had a gorgeous cover, an intriguing title, and a bold promise to fulfill. (I was also quite skeptical). The premise of this book is that you can manifest some of your deepest desires through how you design your home. This claim made some sense to me after reading Marie Kondo’s “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up“; however, Marie Kondo was talking about finding clarity and using the principles of minimalism to “spark joy” in my life.  This book was taking it even further.  Questions like how to manifest a partner, acquire more abundance, get healthier, all started through the way that you design your home.

The way that the book explains how to do this takes quite a bit of personal time and intention.  The book is meaty, even with all of the beautiful pictures.  Essentially, it asks you to write down your deepest desires, and then to consider how the items in your home speak to those desires.  (This is my very simplistic summary).  For example, if you are looking for a life partner, go into your bedroom and ask if your future partner would feel comfortable in the room?  Is there a light and nightstand on their side of the bed?  Are the colors and materials soothing and relaxing, ready to encompass you both?  That made sense to me. A design needs to help create the emotions that you resonate with,  then you can manifest those sights, emotions, energy and subconscious feelings into the reality that you are looking for.  Of course this probably sounds woo-woo, yet there are many concepts here that are time tested and I have found to be true in my life.

I am not quite finished with this book, however, I highly recommend it.  The author, Olga Naiman, speaks to me through practical advice and aspirational photography and a writing style that I relate to.  Here are a couple more tips that she recommends for your personal Spatial Alchemy.

Consider a quiet home tour of your home.

1-Go outside for a few minutes to clear your mind, then come in the front door.

2-Imagine you are seeing your home for the first time.  What rooms make you feel good?  Look at each area, is it inviting?  Is each space actively used?

3-What areas need an upgrade?  Are there corners or entire rooms that feel neglected?  Storage spaces, basement areas, bathrooms that could be cleaned and sorted?  Are there small upgrades like decanting plastic containers into glass containers that can add dignity to a space?

4-She uses the idea of your “future self”.  What does your future self yearn for? Without judgement, do your choices reflect deliberate choices or default decisions, based on something that was stumbled upon and stayed in place.

5-Avoid putting pressure on yourself, simply write down some of your observations to consider for upgrading.  Take your time with this list and enjoy the process in the moment and for your future self.

This is just a sampling of the “Identify your Patterns” section of this book.  It will be fun to do the exercises and then see what my “future self” does.  Perhaps then I will have more fodder for my 50th high school reunion!  (wink!)

I hope that your summer is going well and that you are taking some time to enjoy the short season before fall.  I always love hearing from you, so please share with me at stephanie@balancedesignatlanta.com

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Until next week,

Stephanie